Decorationing
by Lanny-Sama
Summary: It's Smissmass time, and to get everything done for this wonderful holiday, everyone must help! Everyone but the people who have the means to go invisible that is, but Heavy is not going to decorate the whole base by himself if he can do anything about it!


**Author's Note:**

This was created for the Secret Santa of TF2chan, 2012!

I tried to make this into a little story more than just a scene, and I hope I managed to do it. The other thing I really hope to have done, is please my giftee! Please enjoy and a Happy Smissmas to everyone!

Special thanks to Cyan, for organizing this year's wonderful Secret Santa!

EDIT: Thank you InbredReindeer, for alerting me that I copy pasted my story twice! I hope I have it up correctly now, please enjoy!

**Decorationing**

Heavy looked inside of the stuffy storage of the RED base and turned to the Spy. "You sure things for Smissmas tree will be in here? Looks like many junk, but not pretty things for Smissmas celebrating..." The dark room was filled to the brim with old boxes, and none of them looked like they contained anything Smissmas related. The Spy hummed, and lit a new cigarette.

"Zhey were here last year as far as I can remember." Heavy sighed and flicked the light switch, bathing the dusty room and its countless boxes in a dim light. Of course, none of the boxes were marked, and had to be opened one by one. Heavy immediately got to work, grabbing the nearest three boxes and pulling them open.

"At least we can make zhe tree better zhan last year. I had to work with Scout, and it was a complete disaster!"

"Old weapons, bad weapons, hats-"

"I practically had to save zhe poor plant from its cruel bindings, such a sad sight- Did you find anything yet? We need to start soon if we want to make a presentable tree out of zhe log of wood zhe soldier will be dragging in."

Heavy turned to the Spy, finding him casually fingering the flap of a box and smoking his cigarette, almost making a point out of not moving a finger to help.

A frown crept onto Heavy's face and he pushed the box with baubles in Spy's hands. "Bring this to hall, then come back to carry rest of boxes."

Spy opened his mouth to protest, but the Heavy beat him to it. "You not want to search for decorations, you carry boxes to the hall!" Spy pursed his lips, but he grudgingly repositioned the large box in his arms and walked out, muttering under his breath.

"I volunteer for decorating the base and tree, and get saddled with the amazing job of lugging boxes!"

After the Spy had left it didn't take a long time for the Russian's mood to get better again. As much as he liked his job, a day off, even if he needed to spend it on base, was always welcome. Smissmas was a nice holiday as well.

It was a good half hour later when Heavy had opened the last box, and positioned the few with decorative items near the door, but the Spy had still not returned. The base was large, sure, but it wasn't a thirty minute walk to the mess hall, not even if you crawled. "SPY!"

With an annoyed growl Heavy picked up three of the boxes and started for the mess hall. Spy'd probably slacked off, or taken yet another cigarette break. Well, he'd at least have carried that one box over there-

He rounded a corner, and stepped right into the very box he'd been thinking about, dozens of baubles breaking under his boot and two of the boxes in his arms tumbling to the ground with even more crashing. Oh, Spy was going to pay for this!

Fuming, the Heavy dropped the last box on the ground and angrily stomped towards the kitchen. The scent of fresh cookies and burnt food wafted through the door, and the sugar covered-floor crunched under the Heavy's boot. Both the Pyro and the Scout were staring intently at a battered book, a smoking cake-tray on the stove and a whole lot of cake batter scattered around the kitchen.

"Okay, so we got the batter, did we add the sugar?... I don't think it counts when it's all on the floor, do we have another bag? Maybe we shouda asked Snipes and Demo to buy more-? Oh, hey Heavy, what are you doin' here? Comin' to decorate the kitchen?"

Heavy shook his head and started checking the room for the Spy, his gaze lingering on a smoking apron lying in one of the corners.

"Ah. No, am looking for Spy. Little french man still needs to help Heavy decorate base for Smissmas celebration, but he left. You have seen Spy?" The Pyro mumbled something and gestured vaguely, still engrossed in deciphering the recipe.

"I ain't seen Spy ever since me 'n Pyro got to bakin' stuff here. I swear, makin' cakes 's harder than it looks! Py said that settin' it on fire would be faster than usin' the oven, and 'e was right, but it was a bit too fast ya know? Hey, wanna try one of the cookies? Delicious, I swear." Scout grabbed a plate from a high shelf and held it right in front of Heavy's face.

Heavy shook his head, and pushes the platter away from his nose. The corners were Spy-free, and so were all of the cupboards.

"No, I do not want cookies, but if you see Spy, tell him to come help me now, or I make sure he have a very bad Smissmas!"

He pulled the kitchen door closed behind him, and sighed. If Spy didn't want to be found, it was impossible to find him without setting the base on fire, and that would not at all help the Smissmas spirit. Heavy eyed the four boxes on the ground with resignation. If he went looking for Spy, _nobody_ would be decorating the base.

With a sigh he picked up the boxes, and continued on his way to the mess hall, leaving a trail of glittering glass bits behind. He'd get that snake later, when they would start the celebrations, and in the meantime he'd just keep an eye out for him. Maybe it was for the best that the baubles were broken, now they could get better ones. He idly hoped that the Sniper would have remembered to buy decorations on the shopping spree he'd been forced to go on with Demo, just in case. And maybe he could turn Demo's empty bottles and eggnog cartons into makeshift baubles... He'd definitely need someone's help if that turned out to be necessary!

The mess hall was as bland as ever, and Heavy put the boxes on the nearest table, opening the lids to assess the damage done to the brittle Smissmas decorations. Nothing more than a pile of bright dust looked back at him from inside the box.

Well, he could use it for glitter. Or sprinkle it into the Spy's wardrobe and give him hell during the coming Smissmas matches.

Heavy chuckled to himself at the idea of a sparkling spy running over the battlefield with a face twisted in agony, but he closed the box and mentally marked it for the trash. The next two boxes didn't fare much better, and Heavy ended up with only ten baubles and about three feet of a battered garland. At least there were still a few boxes back in the storage, but the tree would be a lot less cheerful if Sniper didn't happen to bring back baubles!

If he'd had Spy's help they would probably have the mess hall decorated by now, and to think he had seemed almost enthusiastic about decorating! If anything the man was great at his job, but sometimes Heavy preferred a nice personality over brilliance in deception and murder. Heavy jogged back to the storage and lifted all the four remaining boxes in his arms, set on getting the job done as quickly as possible. At least he cleared out the boxes in the hall, so there'd be nothing to trip over.

He'd thought too soon. Not even halfway through the hall, the boxes started to lose their balance, and Heavy quickly stepped aside to correct the balance, promptly bumping into someone and sending all the boxes to the ground. For a moment he just stared at the Smissmas carnage, and then he turned his gaze upon the one that bumped him. A garland hung suspended in the air, over the invisible form of the Spy.

"YOU!"

Heavy dropped the last box to the ground and dove at the Frenchman, who just barely managed to prevent a trip through respawn with a narrow dodge. If it hadn't been for the frilly garland hanging from the man's shoulder he might have gotten away too, but the Heavy grabbed the invisible man by the arm and the moment of opportunity had passed.

The cloak shimmered, and the Spy finally appeared, an almost noticeably anxiety hidden behind his innocent expression. He cleared his throat, almost embarrassed, and put on a rather convincing smile."Well, hah, hello monsieur Heavy. What is it?"

"Is not respectable thing to hide from duties, Spy. I ask you to bring boxes to hall, and you leave it in hall! I come to take you to decorate!"

"Do I really need to help? I have important things to do."

"Bah, I do not like your little jokes Spy. You are helping with decorating, or I set you with Pyro to bake Smissmas food for whole day! I know there is not a thing you should be leaving for now." Heavy did not miss the way the Spy paled behind his mask, and he knew he had won this battle.

The Spy quickly cleared his throat and waved a bit of dust off his jacket. "You don't have to zhreaten me comrade, I will most certainly help if zhis holiday means so much to you."

The Spy tried to subtly pull his hand loose, but the Heavy would not relent. "You will help, but first you will give me little baby watch."

For a moment, Spy looked as if he'd rather get liquidated than part with his cloak, but then he coldly requested his hand back from the Heavy and undid his watch. With great reluctance he dropped the item in the Heavy's outstreched palm, and watched it dissapear in the man's pocket. "Are you happy now?"

The Heavy nodded and pulled the garland from Spy's shoulder, putting it back in one of the boxes before giving it to the Spy. "Yes. Now, you take those boxes, I take these ones, and we go to the hall."

The short walk to the hall was awkward, and the Heavy almost regretted finding the Spy. Decorating alone would at least have been a bit more fun than having an annoyed Spy at his back, but he was helping, and that was the more important part. It took over an hour, and then the boxes were depleted, leaving a half decorated mess hall and an overly satisfied Spy.

"I say zhat's good enough. A job well done! I will have my watch back now yes?" The Heavy shook his head. The hall was not looking half as good as he had initially hoped, but there wasn't much to be done without ornaments, garlands or Smissmas trinkets.

"We have to go buy decorations."

The Spy's satisfied expression dropped from his face in a second.

"What."

The Heavy gestured to the mess hall.

"Does this make Smissmas spirit better? It just make everything glittery! Is not good enough."

"I honestly zhought zhat zhat was zhe only use decorating had. All Smissmas decorations are glittery!"

"Glitter is not what makes Smissmas good! Is care and love in world, and we show that with decorating!"

The Spy looked about ready to have a friendly fire accident, but he pulled his face into a more gentle expression - one of pure annoyance-, and followed the Heavy to the 'parking lot' of their base.

–

That Smissmass dinner was good, considering all that'd happened, and Heavy dared to think it was so nice just because the Spy decided not to show his face at the dinnertable. He'd made quite some trouble during the day. Almost seemed intentional at one point. Maybe he prevented the Frenchman from visiting his lady, or broke up a good deal of some sorts, and this was the man's way of revenge? He did seem like one for petty revenge schemes.

During the shopping spree, the Spy had almost gotten them kicked out of a store, but they'd managed to come back with a box full of decorations. The Spy had also found it necessary to point out that each and every one of the decorations was glittery, until the Heavy told him to shut up or face his fist. When they'd gotten back a good part of the day was already wasted, and the rest of the team was almost done with their preparations. There was still a box with decorations sitting somewhere in a corner.

The Engineer and the Medic had taken to preparing the music with the few instruments that were on base, resulting in a strange mix between a campfire song and a german 'schlager', that was surprisingly enjoyable when they were drunk enough. The original plan had involved a guitar and a violin, but after an unfortunate accident with the Spy trying to carry too many decorations, it became just the violin and a strange contraption the Engineer had made at he last moment.

The food was also pretty well done, - for Pyro standards- mostly overcooked and bit singed, but better than the usual grub by far. The turkey had been scrapped though, since the Pyro had forgotten to get it out of the oven after the previously mentioned musical incident. A batch of cookies had also been sacrificed to the oven, but that was all.

The Soldier had not been too enthusiastic about the decoration, having tripped over one of the garlands when carrying a tree inside the base, but at the end of the day everyone was having a good time. The food was all gone, and everyone had already drained a fair share of alcohol from their drinks. Scout was lying with his head on the table, the Sniper's feet were more visible than his head and they were all preparing for a leisurely lapse into drunken sleep. That was, until the alarm went off.

"THE ENEMY HAS TAKEN OUR INTELLIGENCE!"

It was after that announcement that the Heavy started to think the Spy's behaviour hadn't only been chagrin. The Soldier was the first one to move, immediately charging over the table with a fork clutched in his left hand and a spoon in the right. "Those filthy _maggots_!" It was outright chaos, and a moment later everyone was on the move towards the intelroom.

Of course it was empty when they got there. No briefcase, no enemy, nothing.

"This is **unacceptable**! Those BLU Maggots have no respect for the true American Smissmas! I declare WAR on them right NOW! We're taking back that intel! CHARGE!" There went the Smissmass spirit, gone with the stolen briefcase.

Nobody was happy with the turn of events, but the Soldier refused to let anyone rest until they reclaimed the briefcase, and so the RED team reluctantly geared up for battle. The Spy was still absent, and the Heavy had a good idea of why that was. The Soldier rung the alarm and the team left their base, mostly drunk and about ready to drop, the other team appearing a likely state on the other side.

The battle itself was a complete joke, as nobody but the two Soldiers were ready to put in any effort and even the Demoman were too drunk to get a decent shot. The Heavy decided it was not worth his time, and after waiting for the Soldier to be distracted, he inched back to the base, followed by the Medic. "I assume you are going to bed as well Herr Heavy?"

The Heavy shook his head. "No, I am thinking that BLU Spy has hidden real Spy somewhere. Am going to try find him."

The Medic yawned and shook his head. "I think zhe chances of our Spy just acting like a jerk are just as big as zhe chances zhat zhe enemy Spy took his place, but if you really want to look for him, feel free to do so.

"I am going to bed. Don't stay up all night, I don't want to be healing zhe Soldier because you are too tired ja? Good night, und Merry Smissmas." He turned and walked towards his room, the nozzle of the medigun dragging over the ground.

Heavy yawned, and opened the nearest door for a quick look. No Spy. Next room, same thing. Next room, next room, next room... The Scout staggered past him at one moment, lifting a hand as a way of greeting.

Ah, his own bedroom... The Heavy took a look over his shoulder to the rest of the hall. So many more doors to look behind. He lumbered into his own bedroom and sat down on his bed. He would have flopped down, but the last time he had done that the bed had creaked so ominously that he didn't dare to do it again.

He pulled off his boots and lied down on the bed, eliciting a startled yell from an unseen lump in his bed. The Heavy jumped up and sent an uncoordinated punch at the source of the alarming sound, cutting it short with a painful crunch and a thud. A short moan followed soon after, this time from the ground besides the bed.

"...Spy?" The Heavy flicked on the light on his bedstand, and there was the RED Spy, looking groggy and tied up with about four times the amount of rope needed to hold a man.

The walk to Spy's room was mostly silent, but the Spy didn't seem bothered by the Heavy's company.

"I wasted my one free day on trying to get out of ropes, Heavy." The Heavy carefully patted the Spy on his back. The Spy took a long drag of his cigarette and sighed. "Well... At least I didn't have to eat Pyro's cooking."

The Heavy hesitated a little. "Was actually not burnt this time, Scout made sure food was edible. Dead stuffed bird was burnt when intruder destroyed Engineer's guitar, but there was good food. Many cookies, and there was cake."

The Spy shot him a look. "Well, zhe very first time Pyro made edible food and I missed it. Two years of eating coal for Smissmas, and zhen... Well, zhat's what I get for staying to help with Smissmas preparations I guess."

The Spy's room came into vision, and the Heavy grabbed his teammate by the shoulder. "We could still decorate tree together? I know is not good substitute for Smissmas celebration, but maybe it helps?" The Spy flicked his cigarette away and lit another one, not looking too sure about joining his teammate in decorating, but he relented to the Heavy's smile.

"I don't see why not." They both walked down the hall until they reached the Messhall, where the remaining bits of china and food were still scattered around from Soldier's dash towards the intel.

The tree was lying in the exact same place the Soldier left it after falling over, and the Heavy pulled it upright. "Soldier trip over garland, forgot about tree. Could you get box? Smissmass tree stand is in there with pretty things for tree."

The Spy snorted. "Hah, I missed carrying heavy boxes around." He carried the box over and started pulling out its glittery intestines. "I was zhinking we should keep to red colourings, more in the Smissmas spirit, and less chance of zhe Soldier attacking zhe tree." He tossed a red garland at the Heavy, and dug up a horribly cheesy Smissmas bulb with a smiling reindeer on it.

"Did you buy this?" His face carried a carefully crafted neutral expression, but the corners of his mouth trembled slightly in withheld amusement. The Heavy laughed. "Is ugly, yes, but a glass ball does not survive here for long. Last year I see Scout use them for weapons, never saw BLU Medic so bright and bleeding before! Was actually hoping Scout would use in battle, is good for Smissmas spirit."

"Oh, to get hit with a Smissmas bauble is bad enough, imagine getting bested by _zhis_ zhing!" The Spy put it back in to the box, and instead grabbed more generic baubles, and the peak for on top of the tree. The Heavy slowly wrapped the tree in a poofy red garland –the same one Soldier had tripped over-, and the Spy hung small ornaments on the branches in a distinguishable pattern. An angel after a bauble and a bauble after an angel, and when they ran out of angels and baubles, they started to hang the festive weapons on the tree.

It started to look more like a supply closet and less like a tree with every item they added but it barely mattered. Every item got a spot in the tree until the poor thing was creaking with its own weight.

"Zhis is zhe most horrid, yet most enjoyable decoration job I have done in my life. Zhank you."

"Da, was fun. Next year I make sure there is no enemy Spy in team! Is worse for Smissmass spirit then I thought."

Prompt: Spy/Heavy decorating the tree for Christmas.


End file.
